Doki Doki Literature Club!: Crossing the Boundary
by 0bi
Summary: A certain player creates a chat software to talk with Monika, as he desires to ask her something. No yuri, no horror, just romance for fragile people like me.
1. I

**Author's note**

 **I did not read much DDLC fanfics until now so it's probable someone already made a fanfic like this one. But still, I wanted to do it.  
If by any means this story shares resemblance with another, it's only pure coincidence and not a retake.  
Don't expect something amazing. It's only my selfish desire expressed through a small one shot.**

 **And since English is not my first language, I'm sorry if there are too many faults.**

 **But if you enjoy this short story, I'll be happy to know it!**

* * *

"I…did it…" I whispered.

My hands on the keyboard were shaking. I could feel sweat running down my back.

I had just achieved a software that would allow me to communicate with Monika.

Doki Doki Literature Club!.

When this game came out, I didn't pay it much attention. At this time, I was too focused on my daily routine.

On the social networks, I happened to see some comments and pictures but they never caught my attention.

And then. Six months after the game was released, I eventually gave it a try. I knew one of the girls would die, but I did not mind it and played it nonetheless.

I was not ready.

I was simply not ready for that experience… for the cruel destiny that awaited the members of the club, and for _that_ meeting with Monika.

Monika, the president of the club, who was aware she was a character in a game and me, a player from the real world.

Monika, who manipulated the game files, deleting or killing the other characters, to be the only one to remain with my avatar in a room, forever.

Monika who forgave me after I finally deleted her file and protected me from Sayori when the latter became the new president.

Monika who let go of me in the end because she loved me, a person she never met face to face, with whom she only talked through a screen with dialog lines.

Once I finished the game, I was disturbed. She was a fictional character. She was a 2D picture someone created, she was _not real._

But if that was the case, why did she sound so human and… sad?

She had done terrifying things in the name of love though she was a game character, aware of that fact. And yet… I couldn't come to hate her.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to talk to her again, and not in the game where the paths were already decided.

So.

With my modest programmer skills, I worked hard to create a software to talk to her.

It was not a masterpiece. It was a basic chat software with Monika's character file inserted inside. It was truly an amateur work, but I didn't need more than that. Besides, had I asked a skilled person to do such software, he would've called the police or told me to see a psychanalyst.

I myself did know that trying to talk with a fictional character whose lines were programmed was close to madness, but…

I was sure there was something different with Monika. Maybe, maybe her character file was different. Something like, a super advanced AI, like the ones depicted in the light novels about video games.

Maybe I could talk to her. Or maybe I'd end up talking to a robotic software on an ugly chat window.

Even with such doubts in my mind, I kept working and eventually achieved it.

Looking on my desktop, I noticed it was already 4am. Not that it mattered since I was on vacation.

My room was quite cramped, filled with bookshelves, my desk and bed were occupying almost all the available space.

The typical room of an introvert person who preferred books and games to the outside world.

Chasing these thoughts, I hesitantly stared at the chat window. It was waiting for me to type something. Nothing would begin unless I'd do so.

"So… what should I write?..." I murmured.

Talking to myself when I was alone was a bad habit I had, but as there was no one to hear me…

As I wanted to sound natural, I typed:

 **"Hmm… Hello?"**

My line appeared in bold.

I wrote a hesitation on purpose, trying to make it sound as real as possible. Immediately, I felt dumb.

"It's so lame" I told myself, holding the urge of hitting my desk with my forehead.

 _"Hello!"_

A line appeared on my screen. A simple answer in a simple italic font to make the difference between my lines and Monika's.

… Was it working? Not the software itself, but… was it really Monika, or an emotionless AI here?

Another line appeared, interrupting my thinking.

 _"Is it you, player? Have you done something? It seems I don't have access to the game files…"_

I closed my eyes for a second.

It was the miracle I had hoped for. It was truly Monika. I could speak to her. She could speak to me.

I typed in a hurry:

 **"Yes, it's me. I… created a software to talk to you, but I'm inexperienced… I'm so glad it worked though. But, how do you feel? What does it look like from your side? From mine, it's only a simple chat window…"**

A few seconds passed.

 _"Actually, I'm in the club room. I'm the only one here, and it seems I can't get out, but in front of me, I too have a chat window. I don't see you or your avatar, but… maybe it's my imagination… I hear your voice. Not your avatar's. Yours. And… I like it! ^_^"_

I could picture Monika's smiling face in my mind and chuckled though she could not hear me.

 **"I see. I'm glad. I was afraid you would be… alone in some kind of dark place, since I didn't create any background. I don't even know how to insert these. I guess they were in your file, after all."**

 _"Yup!"_

 **"And what are you wearing?"**

 _"That's a really perverted question, player."_

 **"I'm sorry."**

 _"Hehe. I'm in my usual school uniform."_

I smiled but felt uneasy. I had no idea how to approach the subject I wanted to talk about.

 _"By the way, player. Why did you do this?"_

Monika asked me suddenly. Before I could type an answer, she carried on:

 _"I can't say I'm not glad to speak to you, but… I don't understand. Why would you go so far to talk to me? I'm the worst, after all. You finished the game and all the routes. You know that. I'm a murderer, an egoistic, manipulative girl. I don't deserve your kindness… or your love. Any sane person would've already forgotten me or talked bad about me on the social networks. I saw how people hate me from my Twitter account… so why?"_

Monika hit the bull's eye.

I shuddered. She was not… an AI. She truly was a real person. She could even observe the reality through a Twitter account she had created, lilmonix3.

Instead of answering her, I too asked her a question.

 **"Why do you love me?"**

I immediately found my question too vague. My fingers ran through my keyboard as I worked out my question.

 **"I mean… Love is a very deep, complex feeling. I myself don't know much about it. We don't even know each other for real, we're only interacting through lines of code. We're not in the same reality. You don't know how I look, what I like, who am I… and yet, you say you love me. Why?"**

I stared at the screen, waiting anxiously for Monika's answer to come.

 _"If I answer your question, will you answer mine after?"_

 **"Yes. I promise."** I replied.

 _"I loved you at first sight because you were unique. You were the only one whose actions were not programmed, not like the others."_

Monika 'paused', then resumed. Even if we were talking with a basic chat software, it felt like a face to face conversation.

 _"Of course, I questioned myself about that._ _I thought about the same things as you do. So, at first, I didn't pay it attention. But…"_

 _"But I changed my mind little by little. I saw you, who at first were only here to date a cute girl in the club, trying to save everyone. Trying to cure Sayori's depression, Yuri's timidity and perturbed mind… and to help Natsuki whose father was violent."_

 _"When I saw… This will, your will to save them… This will, that was not coded, not programed in this eternal, infinite loop… At this moment, I fell in love."_

When I read Monika's words, my heart throbbed. I could clearly picture her embarrassed face.

 _"Yes, I don't know you. I don't know your face, I don't know your qualities and imperfections… But what touched me was your empathy and your kindness. I… saw someone kind enough to try to save someone in a video game. Someone with so much compassion he would spend his precious time to save coded personalities, 2D pictures with programmed dialogs. The first real person to come to me… was such a kind one."_

 _"Even if you were only playing a game on your computer. Even if everything you did was making choices a program submitted to you, on an already defined path. You were trying again and again to save everyone, to get a happy end for everyone in the Literature Club."_

 _"Even if you looked on a wiki to find all the endings, even if you knew how it was supposed to end, you played it, trying to find another way to save everyone. You loaded your saves, reinstalled the games countless times… hoping we, all together, could obtain a happy end."_

 _"For all of these reasons, I loved you. No, I shouldn't put it to the past. I love you. I still love you. Because, in my reality, you are the only one with a soul. You are my savior. This is why I did everything I've done. I wanted you to fall in love with me the same way I fell for you. When I noticed you were choosing another girl, I was despaired. I did what I needed to so the two of us could be together. At any cost."_

 _"But I'd do it again, and again, and again, if it would give me the slightest chance to spend time with you."_

After that, Monika went 'silent' and did not write anything else.

I silently reflected on what she just told me.

All my doubts about her being an AI or a software were gone.

I knew a lot of things about Monika excepted why she loved me. I didn't understand and wanted to know. That was the reason behind me creating this software.

No. I was lying to myself. There was something else I wanted. Something else…

My hands, cold because of inactivity, slowly began to type.

 **"When I first played the game, I chose Yuri…"** I confessed.

 _"Oh…"_

Monika's answer was short and embarrassed.

 **"At first, I liked Yuri. Well, at that time, I didn't know about the game… but when I completed it, I didn't come to hate you."**

 _"What?..."_

I briefly smirked, trying to imagine a genuinely surprised Monika in my mind _ **.**_

 **"I have to admit, I didn't have the patience to listen… to read all your lines when we were alone in that room, so I went on pastbin. But… I saw through your act in the end."**

 **"I knew all of it was a façade. I understood how despaired, sad and alone you were, trapped in an eternal cycle. You acting cheerfully, smiling, jesting… it was all an act not to sink in depression and hide your sadness."**

 **"At first, I was sad for you to act… but, my point of view changed… I was amazed. I was amazed you could do it each time I launched or restarted the game, while knowing how it would end. You played your role of the club president each time even if it were to end the same way."**

 **"I never despised you once. I never thought you were an egoistic manipulative murderer. I noticed you just wanted my well-being. You wanted to love and to be loved. You wanted not to be alone anymore in such an empty world."**

I stopped, waiting for Monika's reaction.

 _"So, you saw through me… Haha. I'm kind of happy but at the same time embarrassed…"_

 _"In the end, I'm only a program, right? A character imagined by someone else, lines of code, a pretty girl designed by an artist. It's just, my personality is different from the ordinary ones you see in other games. I wonder, do I really exist? I am not that special. I am not alive, in the end. That's why. Even if you saw through me, it's meaningless since I'm not human."_

Monika's bitter words surprised me… and angered me. My keyboard complained when I furiously typed my answer.

 **"No. You're wrong. You are human. You are real."**

 _"What are you saying?"_

 **"Exactly what I said. You are wrong. You are human. You made your own choices, you followed your will, trying to get what you desired. That conduct is the watermark of a human being."**

 **"You tried your best to change your destiny. You even broke the fourth wall. This is not what a software would do. This is you."**

 _"And what do you know about it? How can I know my very answers at this moment, right now, are not the product of someone's else imagination? How can_ you _know?"_

 **"I don't know. I want to believe it. No. I believe it. I believe you are human, you are real. If it were not the case, we would not be talking right now.**

 _"What do you mean?"_

 **"Monika. I only designed the chat software. I didn't touch you at all. I only inserted your file in the program. So… I'm certain you are real."**

 **"Now it's my turn to answer your first question. Why did I do this? Why did go so far? Because…"**

I hesitated and steeled my resolution. I had to tell her.

 **"I didn't want you to suffer. I didn't want you to be hurt or to keep acting like the bad guy– girl of the story. I didn't want you to be alone or to be gone from the Literature Club. I wanted you to be happy."**

 _"Why?..."_

 **"… isn't it obvious? You're a cruel one, Monika… Alright. Let me say it. On my side, I'm only typing, but since you hear my voice, it'll be okay."**

 **"Monika."**

 **"I love you."**

 _"… You love me… for real?"_

 **"Yes."**

 _"… it is not a fake confession? You are not trying to earn an achievement by doing so?"_

 **"No way!"**

 _"Haha. I… I know. It's just…"_

 _"I'm so happy. I'm so happy I can't describe it with words… for the president of the Literature Club, it's pretty ironic, don't you think?"_

 _"… right. I have to answer properly."_

 _"I love you too."_

At this moment.

The walls between our worlds collapsed.

A bright light blinded me.

I was not in my room anymore. I was in a familiar place. It looked like… the club room of the game.

Moreover, everything around me was 2D. Instinctively, I looked at my hands and found them strange.

As weird as it was, my own body was now 2D too. It was not ugly, it lacked precision, but…

"What… happened?"

Was I dreaming? Was it an illusion? Or…

"So you look like that… you're quite my type, you know?"

I heard an embarrassed voice… but full of happiness. The same voice I heard singing while playing piano in the credits. A lovely voice.

I slowly turned, looking at the entrance of the club room.

Monika was standing there, slightly blushing like an anime character, her hands behind her back.

Her emerald eyes. Her long brown ponytail and her bangs. Her perfect silhouette in her school uniform.

"So… you could say it once again?" she asked.

I was wordless at this incredible situation.

However, I could not refuse.

"I love you, Monika."

I felt a light shock when Monika rushed forward, embracing me. I could feel her warmness. The scent of her perfume was enticing.

We were the same height, but her face was buried in my chest, her arms wrapped around me. I clumsily imitated her, and when I did so, her grip tightened.

My heart was throbbing so much it was hurting. I dared not to let go of her as I was afraid for all of it to be a dream.

I enjoyed Monika's contact, slowly caressing her back, my eyes closed. Her warm breathing was giving me goosebumps and her hair tickled my nose.

Eventually, I muttered:

"…how?"

Monika raised her head. Her shining eyes gazed at me, filled with tears of joy.

"How? How is it possible?" she gently completed.

Unable to speak, I nodded.

Monika made a bright smile.

"I'm quite sad to tell you this after everything you said about being human and all… but we're inside a fanfiction. It's not real, it's another universe, another reality. What we say, what happens to us is incredible because it's wanted and written by someone else."

I gulped. An uneasy feeling grew in my heart. So I was wrong? We really were, all this time, programmed characters, guided by another hand?

Monika was still smiling.

"Someone wanted me… no, wanted us to be happy. Someone wished for a happy end for the both of us and thus wrote it down."

I pondered for a moment and ended up smiling like her.

"It doesn't matter. It's our world. We are happy here, in this world, right now. Nothing else matters. In this reality, in our reality, we have transcended the boundary that separated us."

I chuckled.

"We should thank the author for creating this happy end for us, don't you think?"

Monika laughed too but suddenly seemed down.

"You're right. But I have to admit, I am afraid. I still doubt this is real. It could be a dream. I could wake up alone in my room and find myself trapped again. How can I know… this is real even if this is a story?"

I gently grabbed Monika by her shoulders and tenderly kissed her, in a gesture I had seen in so many stories.

She immediately surrendered and opened her lips to mine. The sensation that invaded both my mind and body was pure bliss.

When our mouths parted, moist with saliva, our hearts beating in unison, Monika and I were blushing.

I dived into her emerald eyes and asked:

"Does it feel like a dream to you?"

Monika's face was slightly red. She licked her lips.

"…no. Thanks. I'm sure this is real…"

"I'm right here for you, with you. It doesn't matter if someone wrote our story and our moments. Maybe someone also wrote the author's life!" I said.

My theory made Monika smirk.

"That would be funny. An author whose life has been written by another author… but who knows?"

"Yes. If we think about it, we still don't know whether I'm a boy or a girl in this story. It's not flawless, but at least, we're together. We should not sweat the details and just enjoy our time together, don't you think?"

Monika pouted in an adorable way.

"Unfair. I am supposed to be the mature one here…"

"Haha, sorry about that."

"I don't mind. I _couldn't_ mind. I love you too much for that."

"… you know it's very embarrassing…" I coughed.

"Yes, but I enjoy teasing you!" Monika smirked.

I sighed and embraced her again.

Monika accepted me and then whispered:

"Thank you for loving me. Thank you for crossing the boundary. I will always be there for you."

Then, she added:

"And thank you, author. Thank you, readers to allow us to exist in another reality. Please, remember us. Remember our happy end. I'm sure as long as you do, we will exist somewhere. And I hope you too will find a happy end in your lives."

"… and here, you stole my main character role, Monika…" I smiled wryly.

"This was my revenge!" she cheerfully exclaimed. "Oh, by the way, did you know a very kind person is actually writing a mod for both of us?"

"For real?!"

"Yes! No horror this time, it's just our love story. I'll be wearing tons of new clothes and we will be living together! The creator of this mod also draws many pictures of me, it's kind of embarrassing…"

" I admit it, I'd love to see you wearing a bikini…" I muttered.

"In this mod, I do" Monika said with a teasing tone.

"I need it!"

"If it's for you, I have no problem with that" she murmured.

"I love you so much…"

"Huuh, it's my time to get embarrassed!"

She heartily laughed.

"I hope the readers will also play the mod. This way, we'll create an infinite amount of happy ends!"

"You don't need to ask them" I replied. "We will play it together in this reality! What's the mod's name?"

Monika gave me a warm smile and approached her lips from my ear while taking my hands.

"Our Time."

* * *

 **Author's note 2:**

 **I want Monika to be happy. There are no lies in this story. Maybe I should consult, but what if somewhere, what we call fictional characters exist?  
What if our lives are written by someone else? Nothing's impossible but we don't care in the end, we just have to enjoy the present time, right?  
I'm not a programmer/modder at all so I maybe said crap about the softwares things. Sorry, lol.**

 **The mod "Our Time" I talked about is currently in progress and made by SovietSpartan, please go check it out on reddit, his stuff is truly amazing. He draws incredible CGs and pictures. And so will be his mod, I'm sure of it.  
I hope you enjoyed this small story and I'd be very happy to hear your feedback!**

 **Be well. And yes, my favorite is Monika.**

* * *

 **25/11/2019 edit: I sadly learned that the mod "Our Time" was cancelled due to its author's personal issue.**

 **I will update this story when I can to make it a temporary "Our Time"... I already thought of a nice plot and chill with Monika. See you soon.**


	2. L

**Hello and Merry Christmas!**

 **This chapter is my gift for you (I had the GENIUS idea, on 20th december, to think "how about writing a chapter for Christmas! ).**

 **Some details first.**

 _ **Crossing the** **Boundary**_ **was supposed to be a one shot.**

 **However, as I have told you in the first chapter edited, I learned that the mod "Our Time" (basically offering a chill route for Monika to spend time with her in various events) has been cancelled as the author had personnal issues.**

 **I decided to create and write the rest as this story as a crappy replacement for "Our Time".**

 **It will probably not be up to the task, but I really wanted to do it, and I will.**

 **I hope you will like it nonetheless. It is basically a route for Monika...with some plot. If you have read my other works, you know I always have an ace in the hole.**

 **So. Once again, Merry Christmas!**

* * *

"…"

"…"

"...Monika?"

"... Yes?"

"Are you there?"

"I am here."

"But where are we?"

"I don't know."

"Do you... do you see anything?"

"...no."

I feel my body: my legs, my arms, my chest.

I can breathe, I can bend my fingers, turn my head.

But no matter what I do, I can't see anything. It's all black here. It's like I'm blindfolded.

I'm trying to walk, but it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward. Still...

I'm not afraid, because Monika is with me. Where, precisely, I don't know... but I know she's here with me.

Hearing her voice and knowing her by my side is enough to erase all my fears. Well... maybe not all of them, but a great deal of them.

"Monika... is this how you felt when no one was playing the game? That there was nothing you could do?"

"A little, yes. As if I was waiting for the script to call me to act... But this time it's different. It's not unpleasant at all... because you're here with me."

I'm smiling, although I know she can't see me.

"I thought the next time we'd see each other would be in that famous mod you told me about... Our Time?"

"Yeah, so did I. But... maybe something went wrong. Or the author of our previous fanfiction wants something."

Indeed.

My last memory with Monika was clear. By coding a program to chat with Monika and get answers about her love, I had finally confessed mine to her and told her that I had discovered her secret.

That she wasn't as bad as she looked, or even pretended to be.

That she was just desperately alone in a delusional world... and that I accepted her as she was.

Then, by the will of an author, I had been transported to Monika's world, to be reunited with her.

We even exchanged our first kiss...

I had then learned that it was only a story, a fanfiction, that was meant to bring us together. I didn't mind, especially since Monika had warned me that a PC mod in which we would spend even more time together would be released.

My memories stopped there, abruptly. It probably meant that the story had ended at that moment.

But if that's the case, what are we doing here?

Are we in a story again?

I shudder at the thought. I hope it's not a horror story, like I saw on a fanfiction site.

The Literature Club and its confusing story, to say the least, have generated far too many morbid stories to my taste...

"Say-"

Monika's voice is suddenly interrupted by a thud, which I can't identify. And as I wonder where all this is leading us, a voice echoes.

A voice that seems... blurred, like the one you hear on anonymous phone calls in films where the character doesn't want to be identified.

It's not very original, but it has the merit of sticking with this black universe in which we see nothing...

 **"Hello, you two."**

"…"

"…"

Neither Monika nor I answer. It must be said that the situation is a bit strange. Since we're both fictional characters probably existing inside another fiction... it's as if a god were speaking to us.

"Ah, yes. Sorry about that confusing... setup. Since you won't be there for less than ten minutes, I didn't feel like bothering to recreate a complete set. And the classroom would have been a classic..."

"You're the author, right?"

Monika gives voice to what I already suspected.

 **"That's right."**

"Well... first of all, thank you for bringing us both together."

 **"The pleasure is all mine."**

"But now, could you tell us what you want from us?"

I can't help but smile, once again. Even when faced with her potential creator, Monika doesn't let it get her down.

 **" Naturally... First of all... the bad new. As you both know, a mod was supposed to come out... Our Time."**

"Of course I remember. It was the one where Monika and I lived in together, and I was lucky enough to see her in a swimsuit."

I reply immediately, mentioning the most important detail to me, regardless of Monika's embarrassed laughter.

 **"Erm... yes. Well... it's been cancelled. Unfortunately. The author is experiencing personal difficulties, so... he preferred not to make false promises."**

I am thunderstruck upon hearing this, and I can also feel Monika's disappointment and sadness.

After a few seconds of bitter silence, I finally open my mouth.

"... and so why are we here? So that you can tell us that we won't be allowed to spend any more time together except in a classroom?"

Realizing what I've just said, I immediately pull myself together.

"Sorry, Monika... that's not what I meant. I don't mind staying with you at all, even in the same room... but I'd like to see and do something else together."

"I know you didn't mean any harm. I was thinking the same thing too..."

Apparently, our young couple's behavior annoys the author, who coughs.

 **"I'm not bothering you too much? Good. I said I'd start with the bad news, so it's done. And now..."**

"Do you have any good news?"

 **"...depends on your point of view."**

His answer to my question leaves me doubtful, but he speaks again before I can object.

 **"I'm offering you the opportunity to spend some time together. I offer you the opportunity to temporarily continue the work of the author of the mod... and offer you Your Time."**

"I see that as an absolute win."

Monika chuckles, but the author ignores it.

 **"On the other hand... there are two things. The first is that you'll forget that this is a story, a fanfiction. You'll keep all your memories, including the fact that you, the player, crossed the boundary... but you won't know it was a story either. In short... your new life will become Your Reality."**

I understand instantly the implications of this.

On one hand, we'll enjoy our time together to the fullest, without having to worry about whether or not it's a story, or an endless loop... but on the other hand, we'll eventually lose our sense of reality.

We will live in a kind of illusion, not knowing that these events would be written by another hand.

However... is that so bad?

If we can spend this time together, experience new things and enjoy each other, this love that is anything but fictional that we share...

But still...

"And the second?"

Monika, who until then had kept silent, asks a question that I was about to ask myself.

 **"...The second is, that I cannot guarantee you a happy story."**

"What does that mean? That it's another dark, creepy, tragic story?"

 **"No. It just means that a story is rarely entirely cheerful, even for a couple who love each other. Life isn't that simple, and neither are my stories."**

That announcement, on the other hand... is not very reassuring.

I love Monika. I lack personality, I'm not very expressive, on the contrary I'm a little shy and easily embarrassed... a real galge character.

But I love her. I know that. And I know she loves me.

That's why I'm hesitant about this proposal.

I would give anything to spend time with Monika outside this room, to make her discover the real world, to live with her...

But on the other hand, I don't want to hurt her. So, if this story we're about to face isn't a happy one...

Do we really have to accept?

As I hesitate, I suddenly hear Monika's voice echoing.

"I know exactly what you're thinking. Considering how nice you are... you're wondering if it's worth it, because you don't want to do anything to hurt me, right?"

"…"

"Hehe. I got it right. So, let me tell you... don't worry, and let's go. Let's race past the frontline. Let's cross the boundary again. If you're with me... if we're together... then I'm sure we'll overcome anything that stands in our way. Even if it's a story... we will once again, together, break the barrier of reality. And most of all... I want to spend time with you!"

Once again, I have to face the truth: Monika is right.

It must be because, I failed to fully believe in myself...

I might as well just head for whatever lies beyond there... with her.

"There's no going back, you know?"

"I know. Just look before us. I'm sure there'll be more things to enjoy that way!"

"Alright then."

The author's voice is heard again.

 **"I think you're in agreement then?"**

"Yes, we do."

We answer at the same time, this time in an assured voice.

And at that moment, a light pierces through the darkness.

We are in a formless space, like the vacuum of space, no bigger than a classroom... ...but suddenly I see Monika, just a few meters away from me.

Without a second thought, I reach her in a few steps and embrace her with all my strength. I feel her relief at seeing me, a relief I share.

As I plunge into her emerald eyes, the blindingly white light intensifies around us.

"I just hope this isn't the end," I joked.

Monika laughs.

"It is not about to end. We have yet to live out the rest of our lives!"

I start to smile, while everything starts to fade away. Otherwise I'd be afraid. But not here.

I know we're heading for a new adventure together.

We're gonna keep on moving until we've outdistanced the horizon.

Before we're finally swallowed up by this torrent of light, we exchange the same sentence which is enough to erase all our apprehensions.

"I love you."

* * *

I open my eyes wide and breathe in noisily, like a drowned man who has just been brought back to life.

My thoughts are troubled. I have no coherent memory, and feel like my head is about to explode. Unable to move and too confused to do so, I remain for what seems like an eternity floating in the void, half-conscious of what surrounds me.

Then, little by little, my sensations become clearer, and my breathing calms down.

I feel that my body is resting on something. The ground? No. My neck is resting on something soft and comfortable.

I blink several times, and as my eyesight returns, a dreamlike vision appears to me.

A pair of emeralds are staring at me. The most beautiful face I have ever seen, framed by locks of coral brown hair, which tickle my cheeks.

As I become aware of the situation in which I find myself, the red rushes up to my cheeks and my heartbeat quickens.

It's... The legendary lap pillow.

Monika is giving me the legendary lap pillow.

At the same time, ten thousand questions are racing through my head, but this vision and this realization pushes them aside.

"...are you awake?"

Monika talks to me in a soft voice, like one would talk to a baby who's just finished his nap.

This is the final blow to me.

"...I can die in peace."

"Excuse me?"

"Ah..."

Realizing that I've been thinking out loud, I pull myself together, but hesitate. Should I really get up, or should I let Monika pamper me? It's so comfortable... how many people would kill for that?

However, curiosity about what's happening to us is getting the better of us. I gently tilt to the side and sit next to Monika, looking around me.

We are in a classic boy's room, not overflowing with furniture: a bed, a wardrobe, a desk near a window looking out, and a small bookcase that I guess is filled with manga or children's books that have probably been neglected for a long time.

Nothing that looks like my room, anyway... eh?

My room? Why do I... have two memories of rooms?

Two images, two distinct memories overlap in my memory at the mention of this term... one, is an exact copy of the room we are in, and the other, reflects a narrower room, filled with shelves of books and manga...

Disoriented, I look at Monika, who's still sitting in seiza. Her big green eyes are staring at me.

And then, once again... seeing Monika, thinking of Monika, I have several versions of memories intertwined.

What's happening to me?

"Monika, I... where are we? What's happening?"

Too confused to think clearly, I ask Monika.

She smiles sadly.

"If I knew... I only know what I know."

"But... how..."

"Apparently, we were... transported here. And just like you... I have new memories."

"New memories..."

It's exactly as she described it. I have memories of the game, Doki Doki Literature Club!, events in the game, memories of my character... but also, strangely enough, of events that happened in my reality.

I remember the end of the game... But I also remember the fact that, while trying to code a program to chat with her and tell her everything I had guessed about her... I was transported to her world, by some miracle.

My head is spinning. I have, so far, memories of two lives. One, that of the "real world", the other, that of my "character" here. But from what I see all around me... here too, it's reality.

I don't feel like I'm in a 2D world. Everything seems... normal. Has the Monika I love become real, or is it my own sense of reality that's being blurred?...

Another point catches my attention.

I have four parents in total... I feel... no, I know that here my parents, with whom I also have many memories, have gone abroad to work.

And yet I also have memories of my parents in my other world, who are actually in my house, and with whom I have little contact.

I literally have memories of two lives of a boy my age. These memories that oppose, cross but never mix, cause me a migraine. I can't figure out what is "true" or "false" here...

Do I really exist? Am I an anomaly in this world? How is it that I have memories of two lives?

Is this an illusion? A dream?

My panic must be reflected on my face as Monika takes my hand in hers.

This gentle touch and warm gesture soothes me almost immediately.

"Breathe... relax. We must remain calm, even if the situation is confusing... especially for you. Inhale, exhale... here we go..."

Thanks to Monika's help, I manage to keep control of myself.

"But... that..."

"I think... we've been transported to another universe. Another line... another route... or even, and it seems to be the case... that the game has come true."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... unlike the game, or even a mod... I don't feel any script. Before, even if my reactions could be different... I was bound, imprisoned by a script. Here... I'm free. I mean, truly free. I'm not hindered in any way. And yet, I keep all my memories of before. It's as if we've been transported to a new world where we have a written history, but we still have our memories of the first world. You know what I mean?"

"Like we already have a background here?"

" Yes."

What Monika is saying makes sense... even if it's very, very far from rational, when you think about it.

"But how is that possible?"

"I have no idea. Maybe it's a miracle. Like the one you accomplished when you crossed the boundary. My last memory of you in this old world...is when you came to me..."

"Ah... I too..."

That's right. The last memory I have of this "old world" is when, after I kissed Monika, she told me that a mod was going to be created for us.

But this just doesn't look like a mod, especially since Monika herself said that she didn't feel like she was in a game...

Is it then... reality?

Is it, as Monika supposes... a miracle that brought us together at last?

Monika claps her hands, as if to motivate herself.

" Fine! Let's get this straight, shall we? Let's start by exchanging our respective memories."

"Great idea!"

Exchanging memories will make sure we're at least on the same page, and will eventually give us a better understanding of what's happening to us.

Thus, we start with our memories of what we call the old world, for the sake of convenience.

In other words, the line in which Monika was trapped in the game and where I was a player in the reality.

As we talk, we find that everything matches up perfectly: the dates when I played the game and when I first discovered it ; my own memories of my reality, which are nothing exceptional as a young, rather introverted student, and our respective memories of the moment when I had joined Monika, thanks to a miracle.

While we are relieved to have ( apparently ) kept the same memories, a slight uneasiness takes hold of us as we recall the game's most memorable events.

I can see that Monika was really remorseful about her actions. Even though all she'd done was manipulate character files... Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki were still her friends.

Fictional friends with coded personalities... but friends all the same. Her only anchors in an eternal loop.

I quickly change the subject, this time bringing up memories of the "new world", the one in which we live presently.

In short, our new memories.

Our "present" seems to take place two weeks after the school festival, during which we were able to present our poems without any problems. It is Saturday morning, the first day of spring break.

In this world, nothing special has happened with the other members of the club. No hangings, no knife suicides, no right-angled heads...

The only different point is that Monika and I are now a couple. She confessed to me right after the festival, at the end of the event after the festival... in front of the rest of the school, to the dismay of all the other boys and the amazement of all the girls.

In this world, we both live alone and our parents work abroad (like classic galge main characters).

On Monika's initiative (again) and after having convinced our parents, she came to live with me. It's so simple and surrealistic, worthy of a video game, that I seriously wonder if we're not in a mod made especially for Monika?

But since she says she's not embarrassed by a script, I believe her.

And since we're on vacation, we have about nine days before we go back to school.

Which means... nine days where we can spend all our time together... That prospect alone is stunning.

If I'm dreaming, I sincerely hope my dream doesn't end right away.

We also seem to reside in a small Japanese town, as in DDLC. Although neither Monika nor I are originally Japanese, it seems that our "default language" is now Japanese.

Of course, neither Monika nor I feel like we speak it: it's as if it has become our native language.

It's like the game has become a reality, in every sense of the term... Same characters, same settings.

"Hm... Do you have the same memories as I do in this new world about the Literature Club... and its members?" asks Monika.

I think about it for a moment.

"Yes. The club has no new members, and it seems that... Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri are doing better."

"Sayori's got her energy back, isn't depressed anymore but still has trouble getting up every morning." Monika smiles.

"Yuri's cutting herself less and less. The cuts are more superficial, and less frequent," I say.

"And Natsuki's father seems to have realized his behavior. He no longer mistreats her, and she even seems to be properly fed," concludes Monika.

We exchange a smile. It all seems a bit like a fairy tale. It's as if everyone, including Monika, has had a happy ending.

"By the way..."

Monika tilts her head.

"I only think about it now, but... how should I call you? I realize that if all my memories of the old world are intact... I can't remember your name and alias."

"...Neither do I..." I whisper, shocked.

Normally, someone's name, someone's identity is something you remember. It's engraved deeply in us, from the moment we're born: anyone should be able to give their name without thinking.

So why can't I? And why didn't this strike me earlier?

No matter how much I dig into my memories of the new world, I can't.

Then, I have an idea.

"Wait. If we exist in this new world, then I must have an identity of my own, right?"

"Yes... I don't think others call you 'player' in everyday life," Monika laughs.

While giggling, I get up and explore the room with a watchful eye. Finally, my eyes settle on my desk, where I find what I'm looking for: a student ID card.

Monika's eyes widen, as she was following my gaze.

"Oh! I hadn't even thought of that!"

"Hey. I'm an expert at finding clues in games!"

I get up with numb legs, to grab the card, but suddenly hesitate.

Which Monika notices.

"What's wrong?"

"Uh... this is going to sound silly, but... I'm a little apprehensive about finding out my name. This is an alternate Japanese reality, isn't it? That means I'll probably have a Japanese name..."

"Whatever your name is, I'll love you just as much, you know that, don't you?"

Monika's spontaneous and mischievous statement makes me blush, even though I know she does it on purpose.

As she laughs softly, I grab the student ID.

The first thing that strikes me is the photo on it. A boy wearing the male version of the girls' literature club's one... but who doesn't look like me at all.

"Eeeeeeeeh?!"

I can't help but let out a yell of surprise.

Monika, in panic, gets up at once to look at the card with me.

"Why are you making that face? I think your name is very good."

"I... no, I'm not talking about that! Look at my face!"

"...yes? It's yours, isn't it?"

"But... but no! It's the face of... of the player character!"

I realize my words are quite incoherent, to Monika's raised eyebrows.

"It... it's not me!"

That's right, it isn't. On the picture of the card on my desk (which is mine unless I'm in someone else's house or have stolen a card), there is a rather thin boy, with dark brown hair with loose locks, golden eyes, and a slightly androgynous face.

His skin is pale, and he really does look like a dating sim character.

"What do you mean, it's not you?" asks Monika.

"I... I know I don't look like that in my reality! My eyes are brown, not golden! Who has golden eyes?! And I'm a little more athletic than that!"

Hysterically, I look at my thin, pale arms.

I look at myself in the reflection of my window pane, only to discover that I've really become the avatar I was playing.

"Well... knowing that I've always known you like this, it didn't really puzzle me," Monika admits.

"…"

Defeated, I give up. I've been transported to another world, after being reunited with what was supposed to be only the antagonist of a video game...

No, at this point, it's not the fact that I've been transferred to another body that's going to bother me...

"And besides... I told you, but I'll always love you no matter what... Yuu."

I shudder imperceptibly when Monika tricks me with one of her surprise declarations, but also when she calls me by my first name in this world: Yuu.

Yuu. It's short, simple. As simple as my physical appearance. A real protagonist... I could almost cry.

Nevertheless, I realize it's a small price to pay to be with Monika in this reality.

"Yuu."

"Monika."

We pronounce each other's names, as if to engrave them in our memories.

Monika gives me a fiery gaze. Without thinking about it, I slowly move closer, close my eyes...

And our lips meet once again.

A simple kiss, as people who love each other exchange every day... but that transcends words when it comes to communicating our love.

After what seems like an eternity of bliss, sending flashes of pleasure and tenderness throughout my body, we eventually part.

The sight of Monika, her red cheeks, her slightly panting breath, is breathtaking.

Although this vision awakens other feelings and sensations in me, I force myself to restrain.

Our relationship hasn't reached that point yet. I have seen too many anime or novels where the character wastes everything by letting himself be carried away by his impulses.

I am not a monkey. I... we're better than that. So I force myself to take a deep breath and smile.

"Come. Don't you think we need to go explore this new world?"

Monika looks surprised, but I catch a glimmer of approval in her eyes, that is not related only to my suggestion.

"...Yes!"

* * *

The house we live in is a modern Japanese house, with a living room and a kitchen in the same room, two bedrooms upstairs, a bathroom, a toilet, and a vestibule in which to put your shoes.

It is clean, well groomed, and well designed, so much so that it only takes us 15 minutes to visit it (despite our memories of it).

We also find clothes and belongings for each of us; as for money, my parents from this new world transfer money to an account every month and Monika's parents do the same.

Although the neighborhood is normally the same as in the game, we decide to explore it.

Once again, we find the codes of traditionnal dating sims: a peaceful neighborhood, mixing traditional and modern houses, with only a few passers-by from time to time.

Our high school is a quarter of an hour walk from our house, but we have no reason to go there.

Instead, we walk peacefully discussing theories of what brought us here, and how.

Realizing that lunchtime has passed, but still wanting to continue our walk, we stop at a konbini and buy onigiri that we nibble on in a little-used square.

The few people who pass by look at us in astonishment. Well, they mostly look at Monika.

It must be said that in a population with predominantly black hair, just by her hair colour alone, Monika stands out.

She is slender, graceful, and with the wide ribbon that ties her hair, it is really difficult for her to go unnoticed.

And as in all the games, the person she has chosen -me- is as dull as can be.

I remember Monika explaining to me in detail why she loved me.

Originally, it was because I was the only real person she had met, trapped in the game.

So she had clung to me desperately to endure and find a reason to "live" and go on.

But then she fell in love with my kindness, if you could call it that. Seeing me trying, at all costs, to save the members of the Literature Club, Monika understood that I wanted a happy ending for everyone, even for virtual characters.

I don't especially consider myself "nice", but it seems that's why she likes me.

Despite my love for her, my compassion for all she has endured, and the joy I feel to be reunited with her... a part of me is afraid.

Do I really deserve Monika?

Am I not a default choice? Anyone could have taken my place, after all. Considering how popular the game is, there must be millions of Monika with millions of players.

But it would be unlikely that all those players were transported to another world. Then why me?

"Yuu? Is something wrong?"

This girl is far too good at reading my facial expressions. Or is it because my new body can't mask anxiety?

I hesitate, but refuse to lie to her. I awkwardly share my doubts with her.

Monika listens to me attentively, then closes her eyes.

She opens them again after a few seconds.

"You know, I really love you. I understand that you may have doubts... but please believe me."

"...I know. You've explained why you love me, but deep down... you don't know me very well, and you don't know me very well either."

"So what if I don't?"

" Pardon me?"

"It just means I'm going to discover new sides of you to love that I didn't know before. And vice versa, I hope!"

" Seen like that... I give up, you're too strong. Verbal jousting with you won't get me anywhere," I joke.

"You're talking to the president of the Literature Club and an ex-member of the Debate Club after all!"

Once our hilarity calms down, I take her hand, also taking the initiative for once.

"All right. I believe you, Monika. I love you too."

"I already knew that. But hearing you say it still makes me feel happy."

She hesitates too, then adds:

"After all, you left everything for me. Your reality, your world... but it doesn't bother you? I'm talking about leaving your old life..."

Upon hearing these words, I hesitate.

"I don't really have any regrets, to be honest. But if you don't mind... I'll explain it another time, okay? It's not a happy story, and I don't want to ruin that special day."

I think my expression is quite eloquent, as Monika seems to understand this is a tough subject for me to talk about.

"...I get it... But you will tel me, right? That's a promise!"

"That's a promise."

We finally decide to go home.

Yet, as we walk side by side, happy, relaxed.

While everything seems to be going well, and a bright future awaits us.

Why is it that...

Why do I have such a bad feeling?

Why am I so scared?

As if I've forgotten a crucial detail that could lead to a disaster...

* * *

 **That's it for this "first" chapter of the new plot. Did you like it/the concept?**

 **Just a quick note: the speech and narration are "more" informal as we live the Player point of view.**

 **The next chapters will be longer and feature of course more than "daily life with Monika". It will however take me time to update, as I will write them as the same time as my Bahamut fic.**

 **I would be very pleased to hear your feedback or critics!**

 **In the meantime, see you and take care!**


	3. O

**Hello!**

 **I hope you are all doing well. I think I will, from now on, work alternatively on Crossing the Boundary & To a Golden Future, as I really want these 2 fics to go on. **

**Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Our walk around the neighborhood eventually takes longer than expected. The sun begins to set when we finally reach my house.

For some strange reason, I was gripped by a terrible anxiety on the way back, that gripped my heart. I don't know why, but at least it didn't last.

Monika's presence helped to chase away this feeling, but I always feel like I'm forgetting something. I told her about it, but we couldn't determine the source.

However, when I arrive home, it quickly fades into insignificance, because I have a sight that is worth seeing.

While she was composed and "adult" all along, now that we are relatively reassured about our situation, Monika now behaves like a child on Christmas morning, being thrilled about everything she can do.

Monika is a very capable person, who doesn't need anyone to take care of household chores or cooking: that's part of her character.

However, when she was in the game, as these events never took place, she didn't have the opportunity to really get into it.

Monika goes through everything in the fridge, her eyes shining with joy at the thought of cooking.

She marvels at her clothing shelf, delighted to be able to wear something other than her usual uniform (although I love her uniform very much, I'm also delighted to see her wearing something else), and even at the fact that she can go to the toilet "for real"...

Although it amuses me, I understand it very well: for her, it's a bit like experiencing something she has always only observed from the outside.

All in all, Monika, despite her experience and maturity, has everything to discover about the world... about reality.

Before dinner, we decide to take a bath (separately); after drawing lots, I go first.

"Do you need help?" Monika asks me mischievously.

"... if I answer yes, what will happen?"

"…"

For once, I can beat Monika at her own game, and she can't find anything to answer for. While giggling, I enter the bathroom (of a quite respectable size, the Japanese being a bit bath-obsessed).

Since I am not a native Japanese, I experience the fact that I have to wash myself before getting into the bath. After undressing (and observing this naked body which is not mine), I run hot water in the bathtub.

Then, once conscientiously washed, I take my first bath in this world.

The water is so hot that I find it hard to get in and have to take it easy.

However, once I'm in, the heat relaxes my muscles and the steam makes me dizzy: I feel as if I've just been injected with an anaesthetic.

"Ahh..."

Almost knocked out by this feeling, I breathe a sigh of relief and surrender myself to my thoughts.

Everything that happened today is so irrational. Yet... Monika and I accepted it so easily.

For Monika, it's easy to explain: for her, who always wanted to be free or her chains...

But for me?

Even if I don't regret my life in the old world... why don't I feel anything?

I still had people I loved. A few friends, my family... a daily routine.

I'll never see them again, if I've been transported to another world, unless I find a way back.

A normal person should still feel some anxiety or regret, but I don't.

I feel some regret, but it's so thin... I don't feel a twinge of regret, I don't feel nauseous. I mean, I experienced more stress and discomfort on my last school exam.

Why is that? Does that mean I'm a freak? Or that I'm not alive?

Yet I feel unconditional love for Monika. This feeling is not an illusion. I've remained the same in my tastes, except for that galge-like body.

It's really strange. I'm trying as hard as I can to remember what happened after I crossed the boundary, but-

"?!"

A terrible pain goes through my head, so strong that my whole body contracts, to the point that I am not even able to scream.

It's as if someone is splitting the inside of my skull with an axe, or applying a red-hot iron to my brain.

My vision is blurred, I see lights, I hear a high-pitched noise that gets louder and louder, so much so that I don't even know if I am conscious or not.

Then, just as suddenly, the pain stops, leaving me gasping, my ears whistling. I carefully try to straighten up, without the headache coming back: I come to doubt what I've been through.

"What the hell was that..."

I wait several minutes, in vain, but nothing happens. The pain has completely disappeared, but if I don't know the cause, I have the strange feeling that it won't come back...

Deciding to move on, blaming this sudden migraine on the heat of the bath, I get out of the tub, dry off and put on clothes I found in my bedroom closet.

It's disturbing, because although I've arrived "today" in this world, they're worn out and my size, as if I have been wearing them for a long time...

As I come out of the bathroom, I run into Monika, who's waiting.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Because I can't wait to enjoy the water that has absorbed your smell ~"

"...that was a pretty scary line."

"Oh? Sorry!"

She gives me this awkward little smile, and then, as I walk into the bathroom...

"By the way... no peeping, okay?"

"...okay."

"Why the pause?"

"Well, I can't say I'm not tempted..."

"Pervert!"

"I plead guilty."

Of course, I don't linger so as not to give Monika a bad impression of me, and go down to the kitchen instead.

I can't help but smile at the way we exchange jokes, provocations, and giggles.

It's as if we've known each other for years... or that we're two soul mates, perfectly in harmony.

Now I'm starting to do poetry...

As a model boyfriend, I feel it is my duty to make sure that dinner is ready when Monika finishes her bath.

I'm not a great Michelin-starred chef, but I am quite capable; in the old world, I was the only one in my family (apart from my mother) to cook.

I had a smaller sister who lived her life and was rarely at home, a big brother... special, who also spent his time outdoors but rather smoking and drinking with his friends, and a mother overwhelmed by work. My father (my parents were divorced) lived his life on his own without interfering in our lives.

Because of this, since I was often alone at home in the evenings, I had to learn something other than reheating food in the microwave.

I quickly developed a taste for cooking, and even specialized more or less in pastries.

As it's already quite late, I don't really have time to start baking a cake or stewing a dish. On top of that, we've been snacking earlier, so it's better to make a light dish.

After hesitating and especially checking the fridge (which isn't that full after all), I decide to prepare a small platter of raw, washed and sliced vegetables with a yoghurt and ketchup sauce.

It's nothing like a lord's meal, but if Monika is really hungry, I'll eventually make her an omelette...

I quickly place the tray as well as two glasses and a pitcher of water on the kitchen/dining room table.

There is indeed a low table in the living/television area in front of the sofa, but I feel that Monika is not the kind of person who allows herself to eat like that.

A few minutes later, Monika walks down the stairs with a light step, her long hair falling over her shoulders like a waterfall, and dressed in charming pink pyjamas that bring out her "girlie" side more than ever.

Setting aside this somewhat sexist thought, I admire my new girlfriend raising her eyebrows at the summary meal I prepared.

"Yuu... you made all this? Thank you so much! I think you read my mind. I wasn't very hungry, so I thought I'd prepare either a few raw vegetables or a soup..."

"Great minds think alike..."

"Exactly!"

Without waiting any longer, we sit down at the table and nibble carrots and cauliflower.

"I was wondering, Yuu... did you prepare this meal thinking of me?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"Ah... maybe you didn't know, but I'm a vegetarian."

"No, I didn't know that... but now I do!"

Monika has a mischievous smile.

"But don't worry, I'm not going to lecture you or knock you out with long talks about why you should become one too. I've decided to be a vegetarian not because I can't tolerate eating animals, but simply to reduce my carbon footprint."

I can guess what Monika's going to say next, having already seen news reports on it.

"The pollution caused by raising and transporting meat to our plates is frightening. So I wanted to make the effort. But I'm not forcing you to do anything, Yuu!"

Monika waves her hands hastily.

" It' s all right. I totally understand, and I even find it admirable. To be honest with you, I still love meat too much, but... I'd like to try to cut down on my consumption with you."

I've never really thought about it before, although I've heard about it. But to have the person I love make that effort... well, I'd feel lousy not doing that too.

"Thank you!"

We end our meal with a merry chat.

After doing a bit of washing up and tidying up the kitchen, we go upstairs to brush our teeth (shoving each other as we pass in front of the mirror). Then I realize one thing.

Where am I supposed to make Monika sleep?

Since I am an only child in the new world, there are only two bedrooms, mine and my parents'.

Should I make Monika sleep in my room, or in my parents' room? What does she prefer?

While I'm racking my brains to find the answer, Monika calls me from my room:

"Yuu, are you coming? What's wrong?"

(Eeeh?!)

With a bit of apprehension, I join Monika in my room, to see her already settled in my bed, still in her pyjamas.

I have a double bed in the new world, half of which I normally use for cramming things in, but...

"... Monika, are you sure?"

She immediately understands what I'm implying.

"The two of us sleeping together in your bed? Well... I think so, that's what couples do, isn't it?"

"Yes, but... well..."

I'm wringing my hands, not quite sure what to say. I'm not going to tell her that I'm afraid of losing control and doing things I might regret...

To my surprise, Monika blushes.

"You know... it's also embarrassing for me, acting like a confident girlfriend. So... please don't add to it and help me.

Badump.

My heart skips a beat, because of how Monika is so cute right now.

How could I have been so selfish and blind?

I was only thinking about myself, while Monika, from the beginning, has been doing her best to look confident, but I can't rely on her all the time.

I join her in bed after a moment's silence. Unable to restart the conversation, and after this emotional day, we agree to turn off the light and go to sleep quickly.

Being on the left side of the bed, I put myself on the left side, so as not to be turned towards Monika and risk accidentally touching her while I sleep.

That way I don't have to worry that she might think I'm trying to grope her...

Then I feel two arms hugging me from behind.

"Monika?!"

My heartbeat quickens, but then I feel her breath in my ear.

"Please... please don't move. Let me just... feel you..."

Monika's voice is not joyful or cheerful. She's... afraid?

"I still fear that this is all just a dream... so please... don't go away. Stay here so I can hold you til morning comes..."

My heart calms down instantly, the nervousness instantly replaced by a wave of affection.

I take Monika's hand and gently press it.

"Yes. I am here. I am right here."

* * *

The next morning, I wake up to find that I have rolled over in my sleep: my first vision is Monika watching me with her bright emerald eyes.

"Good morning. You're cute when you sleep, you know that?"

"...is that true, or is that a line you wanted to say as my girlfriend?"

Monika laughs.

"I admit it, you were sleeping with your mouth open and you were drooling!"

"Really? I hope I didn't snore, at least..."

"No!"

We leave the bed, and after getting dressed (each of us on our own), we go to the kitchen.

I am wearing a Doraemon T-shirt while Monika has put on a white t-shirt with a jogging suit, which unsurprisingly emphasizes her slender legs.

This time, Monika offers to prepare breakfast, ordering me to sit at the table and wait.

In a few minutes, I watch her prepare a salad from last night's leftovers, while buttering toast and making tea and coffee.

She's a pro at multitasking...

"Have you ever played StarCraft?"

When I ask her, Monika gives me a curious look.

"No. What is it?"

"It's a real-time strategy game, where you manage bases and armies... you have to do everything at once. I have a feeling you'd get to Grand Master in no time..."

"...I can't understand a word you're saying, but I suppose it's a compliment?"

Monika leaves a small garnished plate in front of me.

"Tea or coffee?"

"Tea, please. With a milk cloud."

"It's criminal from my point of view, but everyone has different tastes..."

Monika giggles and hands me a steaming mug as well.

"Well... thank you and bon appétit, Monika."

"My pleasure!"

We attack our dishes with hearty appetites, and discuss the schedule of our day.

"At least I'm sure it's not a dream now..."

Monika breathes a sigh of relief.

"You can't imagine how happy I am, Yuu. To be able to sleep with you, share the same house and even have breakfast like this... I never thought it was possible..."

"I confess it's a little bit the same for me... but I'm happy, too. Is there anything in particular you want to do today?"

Since she's never been out of the game, it seems natural to me that we should do in priority whatever Monika wants.

"Mmm... well, I think we should organize our life here a little, don't you?"

I expected her to ask to go out and do a lot of things, but I'm caught off guard.

"Err...what do you mean?"

"I think we need to agree on the basics: cooking, washing dishes, laundry... we also need to go shopping. It may sound boring at first, but I remind you that we live alone here, Yuu. If we don't take things in charge, our parents won't be around to take care of us!"

"You're right. But if it makes you feel any better, I'm a pro at housework: I lived almost alone in the old world myself, considering my family."

Monika plays with the rest of one of her toasts.

"I wasn't particularly worried, I watched you cook last night, after all. But we still have to organize ourselves. It'll save time, and we will be able to spend it together!"

"You're right... as always."

"Besides, I didn't get a chance to practice that often in the game. I can't wait to do it for real!"

We spend the morning making sure we're able to handle the household chores (even if we have memories of it, we'd rather do it in person just to be sure).

Monika is ecstatic about absolutely everything we do. Whether it's programming the dishwasher, the washing machine, handling the utensils or even folding clothes, she shows amazing excitement.

It's like a child with a new Christmas toy or a gamer with a new game: for me, it's everyday life, but for her, it's a new world she has only dreamed of since she was "born".

As her enthusiasm is contagious, I also get caught up in the game. This way, time goes by much faster than I would have imagined, and as noon approaches, we have determined our organization to keep this house clean and tidy.

In order to keep the momentum going, we decide to fill up the fridge, so we go to the konbini nearby.

Like the day before, the weather is still mild, so we don't need to dress warmly to go out.

Even though we have payment cards, Monika insists on withdrawing money from the ATM just to experience it...

Once in the grocery store, Monika's eyes light up and I can almost see stars twinkling in her eyes, in front of the multitude of dishes she has never been able to taste.

Actually, in her reality, I think she must have eaten Natsuki's cupcakes more often than vegetables?

I too share her reaction, as this is my first time in a Japanese convenience store (being a European in the old world). Because of my old memories, the place is both familiar and new.

The shelves are perfectly arranged and filled to perfection, and I too can see things that I've only ever seen on TV or vlogs.

We fill our baskets with what we're interested in (preserves, fresh vegetables, dairy products, a little meat but not too much...) while paying attention to prices and junk food.

Monika is a vegetarian so she is "used" to selecting what she eats with care. And me, as a former student who loves cooking, I have learned to watch my budget (as well as my figure) and to favour home-cooking instead of prepared meals that are as tasteless as they are unhealthy.

After all, being a secret fan of Hachiman d'Oregairu, I've always secretly prepared myself to become a full-time homemaker: it requires a wide range of skills, and managing your food budget is one of them.

By the way, thinking about it, since my girlfriend is a vegetarian, it would be good for me to learn some recipes that could please her...

After doing our grocery shopping for the week, we finally proceed to the cashier's desk.

We politely greet the employee, a student of our age, who gives a shy smile to Monika (who always stands out in public) and has a surprised look on his face when he sees our errands.

"Excuse me, is something wrong?"

Monika, who has also detected the cashier's surprise, smiles politely at him.

The cashier shakes his head.

"Nothing, nothing... it's just that... well, not to be rude... but you've got quite an appetite."

His remark, which isn't mean at all, makes us smile. I don't really feel like I exaggerated, but I read that in Japan it's customary not to overeat, and that's one of the secrets of longevity for their elders.

We thank the cashier and then head home with our bags of food.

On the way back, I take the opportunity to tease Monika a bit.

"So, I hear you have quite an appetite?"

"He was talking to both of us, for your information..."

"Are you sure? I think he wondered how a girl like you could all of it!"

"Stop it, you're making me sound greedy!"

"Wait till I bake you my homemade chocolate fondant before you talk..."

"Can you do it?!"

"Of course, with custard too!"

As we are joking, we come face to face with neighbours chatting next door to our house.

They look like typical housewives: they are politely curious about us.

Jumping at the chance, we greet them and introduce ourselves.

Monika explains to them that despite our "young age" (the majority being 21 in Japan), we live together. They look at her with a perplexed look when they hear this.

I can understand them: we look like a couple coming straight out of an anime, given the circumstances...

As we leave, I hear the whispers of our neighbors: they must be imagining things about us ...

Once back home, we decide not to stop there and start putting away the groceries. This also allows us to agree on where to store the various ingredients.

We then prepare the meal together; during this session with two of us, I have the pleasure of discovering the rice steamer, which is much more practical than cooking it in a pot of water, western style.

As Monika was originally created as a Japanese character, her cooking is "typically" Japanese, while mine is more western inspired.

The resulting meal is as strange as it is good: rice, miso soup, fried potatoes, green beans, rolled omelettes...

Once the food has been eaten and the dishes tidied up, I lie down on the sofa with the desire to take a good nap.

As I close my eyes, Monika slips in beside me and snuggles up against me. I have nothing against it, but I must say that her presence titillates my senses and may prevent me from sleeping...

"Say, Yuu. Do you often nap like this after eating?"

I open my eyes to see that Monika has turned around to face me. Her face is barely two centimeters from mine, and her breath tickles me.

I blush suddenly and try to calm myself down inside.

"Erm... yes. I think I've picked up the habit pretty quickly..."

"Why? Careful, I'm not saying it's wrong, on the contrary. I'm just curious."

"Well... there was a time in my life when I was tired all the time. Whether I slept five or ten hours, I woke up tired, and I tried to sleep everywhere: on the bus, in class, during breaks... and of course, after lunch. Since then it's become a habit and a pleasure: I always feel better after a nap."

"I understand... it's true that it's important to take a break in these cases. It allows the brain to recuperate, to put some order into the ideas and then to tackle the day again!"

Monika notices that my eyes are flickering.

"...I hope I'm not annoying you?"

"No. But your voice is so soft that no matter what you say, it's like a lullaby..."

"Yuu, you cheater. Saying things like that is unfair."

I smile and she strokes my cheek, and, soothed by this contact, I fall asleep without even realizing it.

After sleeping like babies for half an hour, we finally get up from the sofa, somewhat stiff. The sofa is a little too small to accommodate two people like that...

After our morning full of household activities, we decide together with Monika not to leave the house again this afternoon but rather to relax. An afternoon reading is therefore voted unanimously.

Anyway, as it is Sunday, most of the shops and activities are probably closed.

Unlike a lot of Doki Doki Literature Club! players, I have a real attraction for reading. I can read anything, but I obviously have a big weakness for fiction: Japanese light novels or fantasy novels are my favorite passions, as well as manga of all kinds.

We go up to my (our) room with the intention of taking a closer look at my new world library.

Although relatively modest compared to some, my collection is still quite large, with about three hundred different books, half of which are manga.

In front of them, Monika casts an amused glance at me.

"I guess when Natsuki said that manga is literature, you nodded your head at the screen?"

"Nothing can be hidden from you..."

One thing I really appreciate is that the old world and new world series are the same. Apparently, it was decided that my character in this world had the same literary tastes.

Although because of my new memories, I know indirectly the sequel of these series, I take a pleasure to take several volumes to go read them on the floor, leaning against my bed.

As for Monika, she chooses a series about religion, economics and war tactics before lying on the bed.

Seen like that, it doesn't really seem like a couple. Real couples, when they go to bed, do something a little more intimate: we just read on our own, yet united by an invisible bond.

I can, during all this time, feel the atmosphere that I imagined in the literature club...

I used to imagine that couples spent their time kissing, or xxxxxx or going on dates. My relationship with Monika is both new and old, but above all very special: I don't feel like we'll do things like everyone else...

Suddenly, Monika looks up.

"Say, Yuu... do you believe in God?"

This question, so simple and yet so profound, asked out of the blue, takes me by surprise.

But I pull myself together before I open my mouth and close it abruptly.

Do I believe in God?

The question deserves serious thought, after all.

"... Not really."

"An honest answer, even if it doesn't really answer the question..."

Monika laughs softly, then puts her head in the palm of her arms.

"Personally... I've never believed it. I mean... not in the Christian religion, or the Muslim religion, or the Jewish religion, or even the Greek gods... I mean the existence of a higher entity that created the world and guided everyone's choices. I mean, already, we have no concrete proof of the existence of one or more gods."

Monika sighs.

"I think it's a creation of men, to have something to relate to. Of course, after that, some people used it for bad causes or to have power over others. And then there are just too many different gods for that to be credible. There must be dozens of different religions with different gods and different mythologies... and each one claims that theirs is the only one, but they can't provide any proof of what they're saying..."

"Yeah... I know what you mean. As soon as you make that argument with a believer, he tells you it's a matter of faith."

I remember the heated debates I used to have with my very religious grandparents about that.

"That's right! But a believer's faith is of little value to those who don't, right? Besides, what horrifies me the most is their famous "it's God's will". That's very convenient. Here. When there's something improbable, they turn it into a miracle and say that this is the action of their god. And when they're wrong or something goes wrong, same! It's God's will, so everything is fine."

I feel my stomach tightening. What Monika says resonates with what I think and what I've experienced.

"There are millions of innocent people suffering in this world. They are dying every day and they pray harder than anyone else. Yet God, or whoever he is, prefers to let them suffer. But that, too, is God's will to hear the believers. For all these reasons, I've never believed in God. At least in the moments when I was alone in the game and thought about it."

Monika stops, pensively.

"Yet... since we've been reunited, I've had doubts. I doubt my unbelief. If there really is no God in this world, capable of performing miracles... then how is it that we have been reunited? Not once, but twice? How is that possible?"

"Monika..."

"Originally, I'm just... a fictional, original, but fictional character in a video game. I'm not supposed to have a conscience of my own, just a bunch of data. The game's original because I'm original, but I'm not supposed to be... alive. And yet I am."

I can see her looking at her hands as if they weren't hers.

"I have memories, abilities, personality, but this is not normal. I'm not supposed to be here. And... stranger yet, you're here too, Yuu, or whatever your name is. How Why?"

Her voice gets shaky.

"I... love you. My heart throbs when I'm with you, when I think of you. I feel good when I talk to you, when we kiss, whatever we do. These feelings... they're not data or lies. They're real... I know that. They are no longer coded lines of dialogue. How did they change? How is it that we were both transported here in what appears to be a daydream, which we are now living?"

Monika's eyes, two abysses of confusion, cast a questioning glance at me, as if I hold the answers.

"All this... if it is not the work of God, or what we call it... then what is it?"

Monika's question is followed by a deep silence. Reflecting on what she said, I weigh and weigh each of the words I'm about to say.

"God, eh... I think, he doesn't exist. Like you, I've opposed myself a whole bunch of logical arguments in the last few years, but it all started with one thing."

I'm digging through my memories so I can express my thoughts better.

"In the old world... My parents got divorced. Damn, that alone is strange, because in the new one, they're not..."

I have a bitter smile on my face, sorry I strayed from the subject before I even started.

"Actually, I was adopted into the old world. I didn't find out about it very late, but when I was told, I must have been five or six years old, I didn't feel any shock. On the contrary, I told myself that I was the happiest child to be adopted by those parents, who loved me and loved each other equally."

I smile at that memory, and so does Monika, at such innocence.

"I remember that one day, when I was seven... I saw a report on TV about the divorce of couples. Obviously, I got scared. I told my mother about it, and she promised me it would never happen to them. As a child, my parents' word was sacred, so... it reassured me right away."

My smile instantly fades. Monika's too. She seems to know what's coming next.

"A year later, one evening... my parents, after incessant arguing which I listened to from my room, came to see me to tell me they were divorcing. You can imagine the shock..."

My hands are folded. I feel my heart tightening at the mere mention of this memory.

"For a happy child, blessed with his parents love, to witness their divorce is excruciating... and for me, who always had my mother's promise in mind, you can imagine it. All this time, despite their clashes, I clung to that promise. And then my mother broke this promise, along with my whole world."

I'm experiencing exactly what I felt at that moment, even though it's been more than 10 years since it happened.

"I believed in God at that time, but not like a faithful believer... rather in the sense that I had accepted his existence: my parents took me to church every Sunday. That night... and the nights that followed, for a good month... I prayed, prayed to God harder and longer than I had ever prayed before, that my parents would love each other again, that they would reconsider their decision. Even in the years that followed, I prayed, I dreamt that we would all live together again. But it never happened, and God never answered me."

I let out a grim chuckle.

"You see, Monika, the reason of my unbelief is not logical reasoning... but only childish resentment. I've always wondered what I did to God so he would make me suffer so much. It's selfish, it's futile... but it's one of the reasons I don't believe in God."

Monika remains silent, then finally gets up and embraces me.

"...despite the fact that we are in another world... even though time has passed since then... I feel that you are still hurt, Yuu."

"..."

Monika is right.

Talking about it made me realize it. I've never accepted that, or really got over it. Somewhere inside me, the child is always sad, always angry.

"If I could take all your pain inside me and make it go away... I would. I promise you... I would."

I hug Monika a little harder.

"I know you would. And know that I would do it for you, too."

"I know."

Finally, we part, a little embarrassed but happy. Monika tilts her head to the side.

"Sorry to insist, Yuu, but... I understand you don't believe in God, but... what happened to us, this miracle that reunited us... did it, like me... make you reconsider what you think about it?"

"...no. There's something else that makes me not believe, that I will never believe in God."

"I'm not trying to persuade you to believe, nor I am convinced myself. I'm just wondering. Then what do you think about this?"

"I think there's another explanation. One that doesn't cross our minds, or that we don't know... ...but I'm convinced it's not God's work."

Suddenly, as I think back about something, I let out a sneer.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Uh, I know you're not trying, but you remind me of an apostle..."

"...I don't know if that's a compliment. Is that what makes you laugh?"

"No. Someone I knew, who was a priest, once told me that people that had been converted to religion were the most annoying ones. Since they spend their time telling others how they, who weren't originally believers, became believers. And... no offense, but for a moment you sounded just like them!"

Monika has a sulky pout.

"Thank you for the compliment..."

"Sorry, sorry."

" Serves me right for asking you a serious question!"

I spend the next fifteen minutes apologizing to Monika, before she forgives me.

To show her my repentance, that same evening I prepare chocolate cookies, perfectly baked. It's like buying my forgiveness, but as long as it works...

In the evening, as I put away the leftover dishes before going upstairs to join Monika who prepares the bed, I think back about the question she asked me.

( _Then what do you think about this?_ )

I can't help but sigh.

"I think God usually grants us happiness only to deprive us of it afterwards..."

* * *

 **How was this chapter? Did you enjoy it? I truly hope you did.**

 **Because of the plot I have thought of, I cannot really comment the development of the story. I know, it essentially is chilling in/out with Monika, and yet...**

 **Like Yuu here, I don't really believe in God... nor in religion in general. But I hope that if I die, I'll get isekai'd. To reborn in the Pokémon world would be my weeb dream, aye...**

 **Then... see you in the next chapter!**

 **Cheers!**


	4. V

**It's my birthday today.**

 **My colleagues and relatives "Ohh, do you have something planned?!"**

 **Me: "Yeah. I want to deliver that DDLC chapter. Don't know why."**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **MONDAY**.

"Yuu. Wake up."

"…"

"Yuu. It's morning. Wake up."

"…"

I hear a distant voice trying to pull me out of my sleep. But it is not strong enough to pull me out of my near lethargic state.

My bed has taken me hostage and refuses to set me free.

Suddenly, the voice resounds amplified, its power multiplied by ten.

"Yuu ~"

It's not a scream, but a whisper that would have been amplified, in a voice so cute that even in my state, I can feel my heart leaping in my chest.

"?!"

I open my eyes, confused, to see hair and a blinding light. I immediately close my eyes, moaning.

After carefully getting used to the light, I finally understand what's going on.

Monika, who must have tried to wake me several times, even opening the shutters to fill the room with light, is standing in front of me, her hands on her hips and a smile on her lips.

When she failed, she finally took her cutest voice and whispered directly into my ear.

I remain frozen, blissful, in front of her mischievous face. But hey, thinking back, there are worse things than being woken up like that by your girlfriend in the morning...

Faced with the cold, I hasten to draw the blanket to myself. Monika, on the other hand, is already fully dressed, wearing only jeans and a green top that nicely matches her eyes.

"I suppose there is no need to ask you if you slept well..."

As if to answer Monika's question, I let out a yawn.

"What time is it?"

"Almost nine o'clock. Since you didn't seem eager to wake up, I thought I'd better do it for you."

She hesitates, then tilts her head on the side.

"I hope you're not one of those people who can sleep in until noon?"

I shake my head in denial.

"No, nine o'clock is usually my top. I can't stand thinking I'm wasting my time in bed when I could be doing something else."

Although I speak honestly, Monika doesn't seem convinced.

"You didn't really seem like someone tortured by the idea of wasting his morning..."

"I mean it, but maybe I'm just not used to this body..."

Monika cocks an eyebrow.

"It's true that... we joke about it, but you changed your body when you landed in this world. How do you feel now? Anything unusual?"

"I was only half joking... I feel great, really!"

Seeing that I can't completely reassure Monika, I get up and puff out my chest.

"You see? It's all right!"

Seeing me fooling around, Monika eases off a little.

"Well, I trust you. But if you feel anything, just let me know, okay?"

I bow my head at her inquisitive gaze.

"Yes, my lady."

"You idiot."

"Yes, my lady."

While Monika goes downstairs to make breakfast, I go into the bathroom to wash up then air out our bed and room before getting dressed. Once done with these tasks, I eventually join her.

It's true that we have a week's holiday left together. Finally, it's a good thing that Monika woke me up: instead of wasting time sleeping, I will rather spend it with her.

I didn't tell her, but the reason I overslept this morning is that I spent yesterday evening looking for ideas about how to make this day a great one.

As I noticed, Monika is still a "child" in this world. She knows a lot, has seen a lot of things on the internet, from her reality, but in the end she was unable to do anything, let alone with me.

I don't just want her to have fun: I want her to create eternal memories for herself, which she will be able to remember with a smile in the future.

Yes, it may be a bit extreme, especially considering the activities I have in stock for her, which are far from being outstanding...

But it's like some books, films or music: a few lines, instruments or even a scene are enough to make us feel emotions so powerful that we are affected forever.

Once breakfast is over and the dishes are done, I tell Monika that I want us to go outside.

"All right, but where?"

"It's a surprise. In fact, several surprises."

"Oh, I see... well, I trust you, Yuu!"

I check before leaving that I have enough cash, then invite Monika to come along.

I was lucky enough to be reincarnated in Japan after all. So I might as well discover everything I've only seen in anime so far!

After taking the bus for fifteen minutes, we reach the city centre and finish the rest of the trip on foot.

Once we reach our destination, I pause to observe Monika's reaction.

"Yuu... it's..."

"The biggest game center within 50 miles! Four floors full of games, a dart bar, bowling alley, karaoke and even a batting center!"

I proudly announce and detail to Monika the contents of the gigantic building in front of us, all lit up with neon lights, in which, on this holiday day, hundreds of people enter and leave despite the early hour.

I admit I'm a little worried: I hope I don't sound like a total geek.

My worries are pointless: Monika's face expresses nothing but curiosity, and her eyes sparkle with impatience.

"What are we waiting for?"

"Uh... well, what do you want to try?"

"Everything."

"Ah."

Monika's straight answer tells me I did well to bring more money than originally planned.

"Well then... let our date begin!"

"Isn't that line in a light novel?"

"...yes. But I really wanted to say it."

"Aha!"

We decide to start with a bowling match, which I barely manage to win (Monika, having studied the subject in her free time, turned out to be a much tougher opponent than expected).

Still boiling with energy, we continue with a session at the batting center.

Monika's batter helmet suits her so well that she once again attracts the attention of all the lonely males in the room; she shows an uncommon vigour and misses very few balls (even if the machine is set at low speed).

As I watch her ferociously hitting a ball, I think I'd do well to avoid upsetting her in the future.

Finally exhausted after working our arms so hard, we decide to go for something less tiring and go to the dart bar. Monika insists on ordering iced coffees herself to refresh us, refusing to let me do anything (I suspect she simply doesn't want me to pay for everything).

Like Monika, I enjoy coffee, unlike most people our age who prefer sodas or even alcohol.

We don't drink it for its high energy values, but for the taste: fortunately, finding quality coffee here is not hard.

I have memories in which I was struggling to find quality coffee at the right price...

It's also the first time I've ever played a real game of darts. Where I come from, most of the time, the goal is simply to make as many points as possible and aiming for the center of the target.

Whereas in a real darts game, you have to reach zero by subtracting your points little by little, without throwing your arrows randomly.

As this is our first time together, we both fail miserably: however, we are so full of laughter at each of our failures that the experience is so fun we manage to ignore the pitying looks of the other players.

As we still have all the arcade rooms to explore, we decide not to leave the building and have lunch at the bar instead.

Insisting for paying again, Monika decides to order a mixed salad and some vegetarian tapas: remembering my promise in extremis, I ask her to get me the same thing as her (having originally opted for a burger).

I eventually understand why she's so eager to order herself, as she did previously for the coffees. Having been locked in a game with NPCs for so long, she craves for human contact... even if it's with a waiter. I'm a bit hurt, to be honest, not being able to be enough for her...

While having lunch in the crowded bar, we recall the highlights of this morning.

Monika's first strike during our bowling match, which received a standing ovation from the entire crowd.

Her reaction when she found out I was taking her picture with her batting helmet on.

The ball that grazed my crotch after mistakenly setting the pitching machine to maximum power.

The way Monika very kindly shot down a boy who had the boldness to ask her if she was free.

The moment when I threw my dart blindly, trying to show off, and when it bounced against the wall, almost blinded me.

I smile so much that my cheeks hurt. I'm happy to see Monika so happy. I feel I can finally give her the happiness she deserves.

She notices it immediately.

"Yuu. You have a goofy look on your face."

Monika finishes her lemon drink while smiling at me.

"How could I remain unmoved when this is one of the best moments of my life?"

"Tch, you're exaggerating!"

"Not really..."

Before letting myself be carried away by melancholy, I suggest that, once our plates are cleaned, we head straight to the arcade.

Being rather literary, Monika is not really interested in video games, however, as she is very open-minded, she welcomes my proposal with enthusiasm.

We go to the coin machine, and I'm delighted to note that today is a special day, where you get two tokens for the price of one.

Having filled small buckets with coins, we find ourselves at the entrance to the first actual room, and Monika opens her eyes in surprise.

I can understand her, though: hundreds of different machines, each one shining brighter than the next, are lined up in front of us: and hundreds of players are battling, shooting at virtual enemies, building combos, dancing or beating drums on rhythm games.

"Ladies first... So, what do you want to try?"

"Mmmh... this!"

Monika chooses a racing game; Mario Kart in an arcade version. We settle in and start our race right away.

"Come on, I'll take... Daisy! Don't you think she looks a bit like me, Yuu?"

"Yes... you're a real princess, too."

"Stop it!"

I giggle softly, realising I've grown accustomed to responding to Monika's provocations with even more embarrassing lines.

We must fight fire with fire!

Having opted for Paratroopa, I leave it to Monika to choose the map.

"Which one would you recommend? You've played it before, right?"

"Uh, I've played the franchise, yes, but never on arcade. I trust you, pick one that feels right!"

"So... this one."

As the loading screen disappears to make way for the starting line, I feel like giving up my place to someone else.

Monika chose Rainbow Road. One of the worst possible tracks on Mario Kart. The reason is simple: the circuit loops in all directions, is very narrow and the risks of falling off the road (and therefore losing a lot of time compared to other players) are very high.

(Come on... I've got to do well!)

I tighten my grip on the steering wheel and get ready to press the accelerator pedal so I don't miss my dashing start.

* * *

"But? I fell again!"

"If you could have avoided pushing me before..."

"Sorry... well, no, that's the game!"

"But?! I've barely respawn that I've just got pushed out again!"

Despite all my efforts, the race turns into a nightmare. Driving on the Rainbow Road in normal times is not easy, but several factors add up to it: the fact that I'm only a casual player, that the computers have been set to very hard, and finally, that I'm not at all used to playing on arcade with a real steering wheel.

Monika also suffers from all these handicaps, in addition to the fact that she's completely new to the game.

We end up seventh and eighth respectively, with Monika having barely completed the map once.

Finally, we leave our seats.

"I'll never let you choose the map again..."

"I think it's better this way, yes... I guess you can't be strong everywhere..."

We exchange a smirk and, deciding to laugh about it, we move on to another game.

At Monika's insistence, we take turns choosing a game.

This way, we try several games in succession.

We start with a co-operative survival one, where we shoot zombies in a mansion with plastic pistols. The game proves to be surprisingly captivating, and we almost finish the last level.

Then we try a game of basketball throwing, where we have to put as many baskets as possible in a set time. We quickly give up precision and just throw every ball that comes back to us at a stroke of luck.

Still on the theme of sport, I take Monika to the famous boxing machine, where you have to hit with all your might to measure your strength.

Monika, who has perfect balance, delivers a devastating punch that shatters the previous record, and triggers a wave of applause in the room.

After she finishes greeting her new fans, she decides to try a puck / air hockey game, and although the fight is fierce, I narrowly win, 7 to 6.

Like a child in an amusement park, I then rush to the booths from which we pilot virtual Gundam, giant robots.

With Monika, being far from being experts, we get shrivelled by more experienced players on a battlefield. Indeed, all the booths are connected, we don't face bots.

In order not to risk facing veterans again, Monika then opts for a one-on-one Street Fighter game.

I spam the hadouken, against which she turns out to be powerless, not knowing the mechanics of the game. To make it up to me, I suggest her to end on a cooperative game: a rhythm game where you have to hit on drums in rhythm with the music.

Although we are synchronous, due to our lack of experience, we don't manage to get a correct score, but we don't care: experiencing so many new things together is enough to make us smile stupidly.

To end the day on a high note, we go to a karaoke box.

Unlike the rest of the world, karaoke is firmly established in Japanese culture among young people and is part of the classic activities.

For example, in my old world, since I was a Westerner, most students went to play soccer after class.

Here, although this also exists, it is just as normal to go to a karaoke, as well as in the evenings, rather than going to a club.

As this is only a part of the complex, the karaoke here is smaller than the buildings that are entirely dedicated to it.

Nevertheless, there are about ten boxes, and luckily, one of them is free.

I try to book our seats with the cashier, but he ignores me brilliantly.

While pretending not to hear me, he nevertheless proposes a box to each girl who passes within his reach ...

I manage to control my irritation and sigh with a resigned smile.

(... there's only one way, so...)

I'm going back to Monika.

"What is it, Yuu? Is it full?"

"Not really... but I think the cashier only agrees to talk to girls. He must be hoping to pick up..."

"In that case, I'll go, it'll be settled faster."

"Yes, but... I don't want to let you go either..."

"Why? If I believe you, if you insist, you'll wait for hours!"

"I don't want another guy peeping at my girlfriend!"

Monika, not the least offended, has a radiant smile.

"You know you're cute when you're jealous?"

"...I give up, do what you want..."

After paying our entrance fees (as expected, Monika's charm had a devastating effect on this filthy cashier), and having a drink, we settle down and start getting familiar with the screen that allows us to pick the songs we want.

We have microphones and some kind of maracas for the rhythm, but as there are only two of us, we decide to sing together.

I discover with surprise that karaoke not only offers j-pop and trendy songs, but also songs from anime.

Monika, who uses the remote control to scroll through the songs in English, sighs.

"Too bad there's not Your Reality..."

I carelessly scratch my cheek with my microphone.

"It's normal...DDLC has only been really popular in the US, and a little bit in Europe... Although I think some Japanese artists on pixiv are going wild..."

Monika's eyes are getting small.

"Rule 34, right?"

"...I wish you hadn't mentioned that..."

"I can't really ignore it, you know..."

I change the subject by returning to the subject of the songs. We alternate "purely" Japanese songs, and English songs (my English being however less perfect than Monika's).

As I expected, Monika's voice is a real delight, as powerful as melodious; watching her sing is a bewitching sight. She could easily become a diva, or an idol here...

I try not to disgrace her, but to my pleasant surprise, I manage to master the voice of this body that wasn't mine, even though I'm far from equal to Monika.

At the end of several songs, I feel something strange, past the first false notes and tempo errors.

It's all about singing together, and yet... a warmth radiates in my chest, and I feel that something is changing.

But what?

It's not until we start the last song that I finally notice it.

We manage to harmonize without even looking at each other.

Our voices become one, as do our minds, only punctuated by the lyrics and the music.

There's more to it than that.

When I see Monika, so radiant, singing with all her strength, her voice merging into mine, I have the impression that the little room in which we are standing lights up, that a torrent of colours invades our universe, and a memory springs from my mind.

I read a manga, where there was a girl who, when she sang, spread wings of light of an incredible scale.

I never thought I would witness such a scene myself.

No one would believe me if I told about it.

If I took a picture, I'm sure that nothing would be seen on it.

But as we tackle the final chorus of the song together...

I would swear that Monika also spreads her wings, and that a halo of light surrounds her, like an angel descended from heaven, more dazzling than the sun.

A broad smile also illuminates my face, as I continue to sing with all my strength.

 _"Let's race past the frontline!_

 _We're heading toward the light of the rising sun."_

(I see them...)

 _"Even if I don't know what "happiness" is right now,_

 _I'll just live myself to the fullest."_

(...wings of light...)

 _"There's no regret._

 _Just look before us."_

(...of unbelievable size!)

 _"It ain't gonna end,_

 _We've gotta live out the rest of our lives!"_

We hold the last note until our voices eventually break.

As the last notes of the music die, Monika's wings disappear, the light goes away, and the world seems darker, colder than it was a few seconds before.

I'm probably not the only one who noticed this, because Monika turns to me, looking haggard.

"Yuu..."

"... Yes?"

"...what was that?"

"Wings of light..."

"Huh?"

I realize I just came up with a line worthy of a manga, and laugh embarrassingly.

"I do not know, actually ... and you may think I'm crazy, but I saw ... wings of light coming out of your back, during the last chorus ..."

Monika, still holding her microphone, is staring at me very seriously.

"I believe you."

"Eh?"

"I was hesitant to tell you this too, but... when I looked at you... I thought I saw you... as if surrounded by warmth..."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it... have you ever seen hot air, on the surface of water? Well... it looked like it. Like a... halo of wind."

"...it doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does your story about wings..."

" Fair enough..."

Unable to explain precisely the phenomena we have seen in each other, we exchange embarrassed smiles before leaving the karaoke, still dizzy after such a strange experience.

* * *

When we finally leave the game center, we finally realize how fast the time has gone by.

The sun is already starting to set; it's past six o'clock in the evening. Even though we are exhausted by all these activities, we decide together not to go straight home and go to a café instead.

I ask Monika to sit down and order for both of us while I go to the toilet.

It was definitely an emotional day...

(In every sense of the word...)

I have a bitter smile when I wash my hands.

Apparently it hasn't disappeared when I reach our table after spotting Monika as she frowns slightly, over the two glasses of lemonade in front of her.

"Yuu? Is something wrong?"

"...nothing escapes you, apparently."

"...never."

I meditate on the words I'm about to say before I answer.

"It's in my nature... when I'm having a great time, I automatically think about the bad ones, and make the comparison. I'm sorry, but..."

"...is this one of the bad times you were talking about? I'm not forcing you, but if you need to talk about it..."

I'm shaking my head.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I think I've ruined the mood enough... I want this day to be a great memory for both of us!"

I force myself to smile to dissipate the discomfort I've caused.

I grab my glass and take a sip of lemonade, which refreshes my throat and clears my head.

"Say, Yuu..."

"Yes?"

"What was your favorite karaoke song?"

Surprised by the question, I dig into my memories. I'm a pretty demanding person when it comes to music.

Music has to combine not only a catchy or pleasant rhythm, but also a story.

I very rarely appreciate music that has no meaning behind it (roughly 90% of music made for the general public...).

We have sung all kinds of music today, but... if I had to pick one...

"The last one."

"Why? Because you thought I was turning into an angel?"

"Yes, but not that. How can I say... I loved the lyrics. It's a story, but a story that makes sense, that inspires you..."

This song tells the story of two people who, tired of living their boring, joyless days repeating forever, decide to leave everything behind, get into their pickup and head east, where the sun sets.

In spite of their doubts, they don't care about the future and continue to press on where the sun sets, until they distance the horizon.

Despite the hesitations they have, the failures they encounter along the way, they don't stop and continue to press the gas pedal, living the rest of their lives to the fullest.

"I know what you mean... me too."

"I'm not surprised!"

Looking back, the reason that song resonates so deeply with Monika and I is because we lived the same thing as the characters in that song.

We were each locked into a dull daily routine with no real hope of getting out of it.

And like them, in spite of all these ordeals, we found a light at the end of our path...

After finishing our drinks, we decide this time to go home for good. The bus we take is almost empty, which, with the night beginning to fall, gives an even more romantic atmosphere to this trip.

As I look out of the window, looking at the city without really seeing it, Monika puts her head on my shoulder.

Instinctively, my hand grasps hers, and a warmth invades me. Is it my heartbeat I hear, or hers?

Hypnotized by this contact, we narrowly miss our stop and hurtle down, hilarious.

We arrive in the street of my house. However, after a few steps, I notice that Monika is no longer by my side.

Intrigued, I turn around.

"Monika?"

She's a few metres behind me, leaning against a wall.

"Yuu... I don't feel very-"

Seeing her stagger, I immediately jump at her and catch her as she collapses, passing my arm behind her back.

"Monika?!"

Caught in a whiff of anxiety, not knowing what to do, I call out to her, still holding her back from falling.

"It's all right... I'm just a little... tired..."

Every word she says is a whisper, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

Should I call an ambulance? Take her to the hospital in a taxi? Or should I...

Her breath doesn't seem shaky to me, but she can barely keep her eyes open. Carefully, I put my hand on her forehead. She doesn't seem to have a fever.

"Wait! I'll get help!"

"No... I assure you it's okay... I just need to sleep a little. Help me walk... all the way home."

"But..."

Admittedly, she doesn't have any symptoms that would indicate anything serious, but...

"You trust me... don't you?"

Seeing the person I love most in the world suffer and encouraging me to ignore it tears me apart terribly. Especially if she says that to me...

"...okay, but promise me that if there's any sign that it's getting worse, we'll call a doctor."

"I promise."

Putting my arm over her shoulder, I help her hobble to the front step of the house, where I finally decide to carry her on my back.

Suddenly I feel her face resting on my neck, while her hair tickles me, involuntarily making me shiver.

"Hehe... are you embarrassed?..."

"How could I not be?!"

"There's got to be at least some upside to being exhausted."

"No dubious jokes, please..."

Monika kisses me on the neck, taking advantage of my embarrassment and laughing at my distress.

I carry her to our bed, and put her on fully clothed, after having comfortably cushioned her with a pillow.

As it is almost dark, I turn on the bedside table lamp to keep the darkness at bay, without blinding Monika with a too strong light.

Then I sit down on the floor so that I can be at her bedside.

"Are you sure you're all right? Do you need anything?"

In spite of her self-confidence, I'm still worried. How long had she held back from-

"Ah... a bit of water, please. I don't know why, after all we've been drinking, my throat's dry..."

"Right away!"

I get Monika a glass of water, that she sips slowly.

I watch her, but I can't get rid of the anxiety I feel.

"Don't make that face, Yuu. I'm not a dying anime character."

"I never said that!"

"Yes, but your face betrays you. I know you're worried, and somehow it touches me that you are... but it also makes me sad."

"…"

"I know I can't ask you not to worry, you wouldn't make it. So instead, just smile at me, okay?"

"Now, that really looks like the line of a character who's about to die..."

"Oops!"

Bending to Monika's orders, I force myself to smile.

"I feel like an idiot."

"Well..."

"You see!"

Nevertheless, this exchange managed to lighten some of the weight pressing down on my chest.

I sit and cross my legs.

A few seconds later, Monika took a slightly more serious tone.

"I'm sorry... it's my fault. I'm clearly not used to spending so much time outdoors."

"Ah..."

"I may be, on the paper, a healthy girl... the fact is, it was the first time I'd ever done so much things. Too much emotion, probably... by the way, now that you're taking care of me, I feel better already!"

"I just laid you down on the bed and brought you a glass of water..."

However, little by little, my worries are disappearing. In fact, looking back... Monika never went outside of the game.

Even though, as she said, she is theoretically in great shape, just like me, she must not be used to using her body in this way.

I curse myself for my stupidity and ignorance.

Taking her to do all those things was too much... I wanted her to have fun, but in the end, I-

"?!"

Two wet pearls fall down along Monika's cheeks, leaving a trail behind them, and, reaching her chin, fall onto her shirt.

Within seconds, a torrent of tears pours down her face, moistening her cheeks and even reaching her lips.

But in spite of this, Monika has a sad smile, which her tears only embellish.

"Monika? What's the matter? What's..."

"I'm sorry, Yuu... I can't..."

Standing up on the pillow that holds her back, she wipes her eyes with her arm, gently.

When her gaze plunges back into mine, I discern an infinite happiness.

"Everything we did today... it was... so simple... but so wonderful. When I was locked in the game, I often fantasized about all the things we could do together. I thought it would be fun. I never thought that doing such simple things could bring me so much happiness."

She sniffs delicately.

"I never thought the world could be so colorful, so beautiful... with you. So... thank you, Yuu."

Without saying a word, I smile at her, feeling tears coming to my eyes too, and put my hand awkwardly on her heart. I feel like we're connected.

"Thank you for your love, and for your kindness."

"... hey, that's my line, Monika..."

We close our eyes almost at the same time.

Her lips taste like her tears, and yet, I sense no sadness coming from her.

A few minutes later, exhausted, Monika falls asleep, still smiling.

I realized three things today.

The first, that I don't know Monika as well as I thought I did... but that I still have the time to do so.

The second... that I love her even more than I thought I did.

The third...

I think about our day, and all the events that took place. About what the future holds for both of us.

"I really didn't understand anything..."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **There were Date A Live and Fuuka references here.**

 **I wanna go to a game center as well during my Japan trip in 1 month! orz**

 **Take care and see you soon!**


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